A Sad Blog (Readers beware)

I have to honest. Today I am feeling blue. I feel like I try so hard to do my best in every decision that I make. I have actually started to think about my decisions and the consequences of them. I feel as though when I make a decision people are always questioning it or disappointed in me.

Should I really have to justify my decisions and explain myself every time I do something that someone doesn’t approve of? Why do I get anxiety over what I am doing when I know that I am trying to do my best.

Anxiety is eating away at my insides. Its like this murmur in the back or my mind and the bottom of my stomach telling me that something is wrong. I can push it away for a bit then it just comes screaming in the back of mind like a piercing deafening silent tone. This internal conflict is unpredictable. Its hits you when you least expect it. Last night it hit me in the middle of the night which resulted in a sleepless night (or a few hours) for the third night in a row. I also think this sleep deprivation is causing me to think irrationally which in turn will cause me to do something very dangerous… Speak irrationally.

If this make Any sense at all… This is how I feel.

Captivated – I am selfish, I’m wrong, I’m right, I swear I’m right, I swear I knew it all along. I am seeing in myself now what you swore you saw all along. Then denied it.


On a lighter note, Next time someone is judgmental of my actions I’m going to ask them the following questions…
How is the weather in Jerusalem?
Do the palm leaves waving actually keep you cool when riding on a donkey?
and
Can you tell me your name again Cause I could have swore you thought it was Jesus?








P.s. People Dont be worried about me im not sad everyday, I have just had a sad couple of weeks!